"What Are Those?"

Pensamentos

"What Are Those?"

A man and his young son are in the drugstore
when the son sees the shelf of condoms and
asks his father what they are. The dad replies,
"Well, son, those are condoms and they're for
protection when you're having sex."

The son then picks up one of the packs and
asks why it has three in it. The dad replies,
"Those are for high school boys. One for
Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

The son then picks up one with six units
asks, "Why six?"

The dad replies, "Well son, those are for
college men. Two for Friday, two for Saturday
and two for Sunday."

The son then notices the 12 pack and asks
the same question.

The dad replies, "Son, those are for married
men. One for January, one for February,
one for March...."

"Why is E-Mail like a Penis?"

Pensamentos

"Why is E-Mail like a Penis?"

Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have
it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They
think that those that don't have it are somehow
inferior. They think it gives them power. They are
wrong.

Those that don't have it may agree that it's a nifty
toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who
do not have it make about it. Still, many of those
who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up,
but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the past, its only purpose was to transmit vital
to survival of species, but most folks today use it
for fun and games.

Once you start playing with it , it's hard to stop.
Some people would play with it all day if they
didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people.
Some people take this interaction seriously, others
treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what
kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective
measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead it uses yours. If
you use it too much, you will find it becomes more
and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater
than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get
you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how
good your intentions, it will warp your behavior.
Later you'll ask, why on earth did I do that?

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own
devices, it will just do the same things it did before.

"Saving Up"

"Saving Up"

Everyone in the hotel was talking about the
wedding where the groom was 95 years old
and the bride was only 23. The groom looked
pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought
that the wedding night could kill the old man,
because his bride was a healthy and vivacious
young woman.

But the next morning, everyone was surprised
to see the bride come down the main stairway
slowly, step by step, and painfully bold-legged.
She finally managed to hobble to the front desk.

The clerk looked very concerned, and he asked
the bride, "What happened to you? You look
like you just got done wrestling an alligator."

"Oh my G~d," said the bride. "He told me that
he had been saving up for 75 years.... I thought
he meant his money!!"

"Scavenger Hunt"

"Scavenger Hunt"

A woman answered her front door and saw
a little boy holding a list. "Lady," he explained,
"I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need
three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone
and a piece of used carbon paper to earn
a dollar."

"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you
on such a challenging scavenger hunt?"

"My babysitter's boyfriend."